The Road Less Traveled

When ever given the chance to take a road less traveled I have usually taken it, with great joy.  In looking back at my life’s journey I started taking it early.  I also noticed that the times I didn’t take this road are usually regrets for me-not completing the application to West Point, not applying to top ranked colleges and universities, not joining the Marine Corps.  The time I could have transferred to Oklahoma University after my life went pear shaped at Oklahoma State, and I didn’t.

Since you only get one chance at life I try not to have regrets.  So I have tried to walk my own path.  It hasn’t been easy, but for the most part it has been good for me.

The start contrast between what I have done and what one ‘normally’ does has never been more apparent now that I have moved back to Quincy,IL.  Everyone I know has kids, is or was married, have decent paying jobs, take vacations.  They visit places in the area, go on cruises, or to all inclusive resorts in Mexico or the Caribbean.  I have none of this.

I have memories, and photos, and journals.  But not much else, and I am OK with this.  I just grow weary of the stares.  The loneliness of being here is overwhelming at times.  When I travel the world I am never alone.  Here.  Here I feel so alone.  I feel as if there is nothing to do.  I don’t hunt and my fishing gear is in Oregon.  The movies here suck-almost all for kids, families with kids, or won’t get the blue hairs too upset.  There are hardly any concerts or sports.

I try to keep positive and keep living on my terms.  Yet, I am often overcome with despair and feelings of being trapped, of not going anywhere, not progressing and certainly not experiencing all life has to offer.  I hope to live some day.

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